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[04 Aug 2006|07:12pm]
[ mood | amused ]

sooooo random have not been on here in forever. life is good enough. i live on my own which is at least somewhat responsible i like to think. friends are great although i would like to see more of them more often but i regrettably understand sometimes theres just not enough time. girls are stupid and boring well at least the ones ive been surrounded by lately but hey not really a big change there. thinkin bout moving to boston sometime after i turn 21 i know thats a ways away but i need time to save right? well i am on the verge of keeping this going but if i do i wont be able to stop and ill have to put in page numbers and chapters sooooo see you all again in like a year or however long its been since i last posted.

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[01 Feb 2006|12:58pm]
livejournal is officially depressing i have realized this due to the fact that it seems in the vast amount of time i have not seen a couple of my good friends they have matured incredibly, gained responsiblity, and things seem to be working out for them. where did i go wrong. i owe money on my credit card. i owe money for school. i am not making enough money but will basically have to give up any sort of fun i have going for me to get a second job which i dont think i could stand. blah. this is why i dont go on here anymore.
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[03 Jan 2006|03:02pm]
people although occasionaly endearing or entertaining, for the most part will always be self centered and ignorant to anything else besides their own opinion.
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[09 Dec 2005|04:13pm]
fuck chase/bank one, or any bank for that matter. ive been jewed out of 400 dollars. i better get it soon i need it so bad and the fucking bank is retarded. i hate my job.
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[14 Nov 2005|03:45am]
so unfortunately i think i fucked up to bad this time. i hope i can fix it but the way it looks im really not sure. come december well find out. my prediction is- wont pass at least 2 of my classes, will get kicked out, become one of the fuck ups. life is grand.
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[09 Nov 2005|12:42pm]
[ mood | blank ]

i have not updated in a while, it feels strange. so basically i am stuck. i dont know how i got here or even where here is but i am definitely stuck. i know whats important, what i need to do, yet i cant bring myself to do it. i just dont care. i have no idea where my life is going and that doesnt really bother me except for the fact that for some reason whenever i really try to think about it i see myself going nowhere, where?, fucking nowhere. i think i might just be in a slump and hopefully ill get out of it but its been a while and dal;kjf;eijaw;it i am just really messed up right now. my priorities are shot to hell. i need a guiding light. thanks for listening ill try to keep this my only bitching update this month.

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[24 Oct 2005|02:39pm]
[ mood | irritated ]

blah blah blah. ive been hearing a lot about setting your priorities and how you need to grow up and be responsible. im in school. im working. i think thats what im supposed to be doing and its really pissing me off a lot that im still constantly getting shit from my stupid ass parents. i think im going to win the lottery, it just seems easier that way.



my rant of the dayCollapse )

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[21 Oct 2005|01:47pm]
[ mood | amused ]

ians back. nicoles back. hag mans back for the weekend. good parties. good friends. good times. i am just in a really good mood, its nice to have things seem like everything just right even if it is only temporary. i hope this weekend lives up to expectations although to be honest i cant see how it wouldnt but lets no knock on wood. wish me luck. ooooo and ian hill likes young pre-pubescent boys.

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[13 Oct 2005|02:44pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

im sitting at work with nothing to do and a psych paper due tommorow which im about no where near done with and i still cant make myself write the damn paper. i think i have a.d.d. i really just want this week to be over with, friday night after work will be the biggest relief ever. i feel like im carrying around a bunch of weights im so stressed. blah. but this weekend promises to be good. long lost friends coming back. someone who i will not name parents are out of town. things should be good.

4 comments|post comment

[07 Oct 2005|03:30pm]
you know what would be awesome if someone would have a conversation with me right now through livejournal. i will be periodically checking it while im at work for the next three hours. talk to me.
8 comments|post comment

[05 Oct 2005|12:51pm]
[ mood | amused ]

blah. i forgot how boring work is and how much i am not ment for it. i really need to win the lottery already this waiting is killing me. I like random texts from people i havent talked to in a long time. I also like water polo...coincidence i think not. One more thing, I LOVE THE MONTH OF OCTOBER!!!!!! Several of my friends are coming back to AZ whom i miss dearly, also halloween parties which should be an lj entry all on their own. All in all i am pretty happy and cant wait to see my friends.

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[01 Oct 2005|04:45pm]
fucking fucking fhsihtosidhs shit fisacuknl bitch ass fuck ahsihjsiohtoihlkn;l asidtfposiafndgh3;we095788309t47u-g89vupjone;fshtjvdiodfja. i am extremely upset. ive lost faith in everything. there should only be one half in football!!!weqathgwo34y7y hgb
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[30 Sep 2005|04:18pm]
asu vs. usc. tommorow. cant wait. this weekend starting tonight is going to be fantastical. may the gods of college football end this 25 (i think) tyrannic win streak with asu taking the win.
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[26 Sep 2005|12:49pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

i hate the fact that im so inexperienced in life. i want to do something....HUGE. i want to go somewhere experience something new i dunno. right now an education honestly is meaningless to me, im not learning anything i already dont know anyways. i understand in the long run thats not the best out look but i could care less. im so tired of having nothing to do or doing the same thing over and over, its ridiculous. i dont want time to think i just want to be out doing something all the time i dont care if its hiking some crazy ass trail in some jungle or walking around in some foreign city. i just want out. i constantly day dream of just packing the bare necessities including the cell and ipod and just leaving, not saying a word to anybody. i hate to say it but i know it would feel amazing, not a care in the world. i want to have no attachments to anybody, anything, any place because attachments all lead to one thing, pain. emotional physical any kind it doesnt matter and i dont want to deal with it. i want to have all the experiences and knowledge of a full grown adult so i can look at my problems now and be like i cant believe i cared about that shit, its meaningless in the long run. there are a very select few people who i would actually miss i am just so tired of everything. i cant even begin to express all that i am thinking right now, no one feels like reading a live journal book. lets leave it at this, im tired of being dissapointed.

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[24 Sep 2005|01:44pm]
so yeah most awkward thing ever. there is this lady i work with who gives horrible advice. its not that she tells you to do something dumb she just doesnt give any real advice. shes like cash it, but its up to you you could get in trouble, always contradicting herself. so today i was like you give horrible advice and i gave her an example. i said "like if i asked you if i should go skydiving you would be like yeah its fun but you might die" not thinking anything of it. then all the sudden she looks really sad and is like one of my best friends died skydiving.....what the fuck. i felt so bad what are the goddamn chances of that. she looked sad the rest of the day. ahhh thats my luck.
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[20 Sep 2005|09:19pm]
you know why its important for a job to show their appreciation of your work in the form of a small award? because you can go show your neighbor and then a week later youll notice a nasty smell emanating from his house and youll find out that he actually hung himself because he had a lack of recognition at his job. come please tell me someone watched the office tonight (with steve carrell) goddamn that was funny.
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[19 Sep 2005|12:49am]
[ mood | cranky ]

i saw lord of war tonight. that movie was very very good. i mean i liked it alllloottttt. and it set off a chain of thoughts which i havent been able to get out of my head, most of which have nothing to do with that movie. ill try to keep it in somewhat order. i found this extremely interesting, the us, uk, russia, japan, and china are the 5 biggest arms dealers in the world, they also are the only 5 permanent members of the un. the sheer implications of that are disturbing. something was brought to my attention also today. i am seriously disgusted with the majority of people today. its statistically proven that as your reading this someone is being murdered, raped, robbed, etc.. yet maybe 1% of this will make it on to the news or even be noticed. we are more concerned with which celebrity is fucking that celebrity... its osdahgjhatoshjtjh;j frustrating to say the least. after seeing lord of war i looked at some world news sites and on one of them it was talking about the always ongoing conflicts in africa and what not. there was a picture of women men and children lined up on a wall with several men pointing ak 47s at them about to execute them. it was very discerning. blah i want to go on and on and talk about all the things ive been thinkin about but it will just get more confusing and i will get lost in my own thoughts. i am just bllllaaaahhhhhh.

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[16 Sep 2005|12:26pm]
this weekend is going to be amazing. parents gone. pimps and hos party tonight. dont work saturday. i think im going to be sober....never. take that as you will.
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[15 Sep 2005|05:51pm]
people are disgusting. its sickening. i honestly can not believe how fucked up/self deluded/ and just plain fucking vidictive people are. fuck you.
5 comments|post comment

[14 Sep 2005|09:37am]
[ mood | isolated. ]

this week has been extremely stressful. i wont go into details but i now have to appear at peoria traffic court on the 27th and surprise traffic court on the 29th. awesome. i have a test in every class thursday and friday. and a project which makes no sense. i am starting to feel isolated from society/lonely. i havent seen any of my friends in over a week, its getting to me. someone save me. the only things i have that somewhat brighten my day are my pool table, real time with bill maher, and my safeway club card which saves me 6 cents a gallon for gasoline. kill me.

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